kän-trə-ˈdik-shən

While conducting a recent search for an attorney, I came across this website, which at first glance I thought was, well... interesting. Minus the flamboyant exclamation mark after the cheesy acronym.

I mean what is so wrong with a group wanting to keep an eye on lawyers. Sort of an online word-of-mouth system... only this turned out to be so much more:

"We desire to become a national organization that is supported by the U.S. government."

And

"Justice Amendment: The ultimate goal of the A.H.A! is to pass a justice amendment to the United States Constitution. This amendment would be twofold:

1) A person would have the right to effective assistance of counsel in a civil matter if he can’t afford it (the same as a criminal matter); and
2) Computerization of evidence would be required before any lawsuits could be filed or any charges brought against a person or entity. Evidence would be presented for evaluation according to the “Farr Factor” - a computer program which is written to calculate the percentage of likelihood that the alleged defendant is guilty of the wrong for which he is accused. The “Farr Factor” is the determinating factor in any legal claim before a lawsuit can be filed or charges brought. It must be divulged to all parties prior to any litigation, and is used to calculate damages."

That's right. They want to amend the U.S. Constitution. And with an absurd (and absurdly named) "factor" that can supposedly determine the worth of litigation.

So now, I'm pretty much convinced that this group is nuts...right? But it gets even better.

If you check the "About Us" section, you'll notice that the director is Cortland Berry. Turns out that Mr. Berry is not only a suspended attorney, but also lost his securities license and his insurance license. Yes, the Director of the Association for Honest Attorneys has a lengthy track record of dishonesty.

Now, this is old news to people around here, so I'm a Johnny-come-lately. But I enjoyed this so much that I just had to share.

No, Michael, It's One of My Illusions!

Shouldn't the headline of this article be something more like: Confused Woman Gives Birth? Or maybe this shouldn't be in the news at all, because there is absolutely nothing special about this. Just because she is pretending to be a man doesn't make this anything other than creepy.

One Giant Leap for Monkeykind

Spanish Parliment to extend rights to Apes. It's all too silly to even talk about, but apparently we are closer to granting apes the unalienable right to life:

Philosophers Peter Singer and Paola Cavalieri founded the Great Ape Project in 1993, arguing that "non-human hominids" like chimpanzees, gorillas, orang-utans and bonobos should enjoy the right to life, freedom and not to be tortured.

My questions for Peter Singer: if you kill an ape baby in utero, is it murder? What if an ape chooses to kill its baby in utero? What if the monkeybaby is mentally challenged?

3 Quarters, 2 Dimes, and a Nickel

From James Taranto's column:

Obama has gulled millions with promises of "change." But remember, change for a dollar is still a dollar.

In the Harshest Place on Earth, Love Finds a Way

To combat the impending eternal darkness, the US base on Antarctica has been deluged with condoms:

nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them

Something seems wrong to me, and it isn't just my anti-contraception prudishness. Here are the relevant facts from the article: There are about 125 people at the base for the approximately three months of total darkness. The population increases and flights in (presumably carrying more condoms) resume in September. Assuming 90 days, 125 people, and 16,500 condoms. Each person gets 132 condoms, which is about 1.5 per day. And it takes two to tango, so you figure two people per condom. This means each person has sex three times a day, every day, before the prophylactic supply runs out.

Now clearly this is faulty math, but I think I can glean one statistical certainty from these numbers: a bunch of new recruits volunteering to be stationed in Antarctica.

Slow News Day

Just thought I would spice it up with a little home video of me about the town.



I'm just lucky this didn't catch on until after I graduated high school.

Necessary Action

It is obviously a sad day when actions such as these are required, but thankfully the State of Kansas has a Catholic leader that will not allow the governor to continue to abuse her marginal association with Catholicism to the detriment of other Catholic believers in the State.

Here's his actual statement in The Leaven.

The governor has spoken to me on more than one occasion about her obligation to uphold state and federal laws and court decisions. I have asked her to show a similar sense of obligation to honor divine law and the laws, teaching and legitimate authority within the church.

I think he has always been a good bishop, but I wonder if having the support of other strong bishops to his North, South and East makes it easier to hold his ground publicly.