The American Dream

Apparently by taking my lowly position as a contract attorney, I've thrown away all of my accomplishments from law school. I've recently been informed that the firm has a policy regarding contract attorneys. They can't even be considered for a position within a year of their employment. And even then, don't get your hopes up because it is very rare. This policy is partially a product of the contractual relationship the firm has with my employer. But the more inquiring I do about it, the more I'm convinced that my employer is actually doing the firm a favor.

At the time of employment, no mention is ever made of said restriction. In fact, the employee is led to believe that there is always the possibility of getting hired on as a permanent attorney. At the same time, by accepting the contract position, the employee becomes a member of a class of people, all equal in the eyes of the firm. All distinctions based on prior achievements and raw abilities are thrown out. You are now judged solely on your ability to perform your contract work in relation to your fellow class-members. (This process in many ways reminds me of the first-year moot court exercise, where the oral advocates, on a scale of 50 points, all received grades within the 45-50 range and then four were [randomly] chosen out of 100 as the most exceptional)

As one begins to inquire about permanent employment, they are finally notified of said restriction. While there are ways around it, the firm just couldn't consider such possibilities. After all, the employee is just a lowly contract worker. In fact, the employee is now led to believe that if he just "kicks ass" at document review, pays his dues and sticks with it, there remains the possibility after one-year (maybe two) that he could be one of the chosen few. Perhaps being so lucky as to be raised to the position of Staff Attorney, and at some point down the road Associate, well on his way to that prestigious Of Counsel limbo we all dream about. The jackass, nonattorney manager who came up with this policy was himself a temp worker when he first got hired on, and we are supposed to look at his success story not as an inspiration, but as the only way. Its the real life American Dream. All other paths to success are now viewed as subversive to the firm and to my fellow class-members. They are considered short-cuts, as though I was somehow cheating somebody out of their place in line. A place that has nothing to do with legitimate legal experience and no rational evaluation of their actual possibility of ever getting hired on here. I would be "cheating" them of their false hope and misplaced optimism, fed by the firm itself to keep their lemmings happy and willing to continue shoveling the legal poop of litigation. And so that becomes the objective truth. Everyone that I speak to worships this restriction as though it was implemented by the Almighty, himself, and they are without any power to affect its change or allow for an exception.

All of this is exactly why I've never wanted to work for the large firm, which are in fact not firms but corporations. They care nothing of one's legal prowess or ability, they care only about office politics and servitude. This situation reminds me of a great movie that subtly tackled these issues:

I have been told to do my best, with a huge asterisk next to it stating "at document reviewing". Clearly this is not what I was trained for and not what I have devoted my last four years pursuing.

Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?

Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.

Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.

Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.

Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.

And if I do my best, I might just get lucky and get promoted to Staff Attorney. Oh, the sweet taste of the American Dream, how I long for your milk and honey.

Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.

Bob: It's not a graduation. He's moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.

Helen: It's a ceremony!

Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

And one of my personal favorites. Mr. Incredible is forced to work in an awful corporate environment, and what makes his boss unhappy? Mr. Incredible is subverting the bureaucracy.

Gilbert Huph: I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy. Ask me why.

Bob: Okay. Why?

Gilbert Huph: Why what? Be specific, Bob.

Bob: Why are you unhappy?

Gilbert Huph: Your customers make me unhappy.

Bob: Why? Have you gotten complaints?

Gilbert Huph: Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare's inner workings. They're experts! Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole! Dodging every obstacle! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!