The Un-P.C. Detectives

My mother-in-law happens to be a grade school librarian with access to many old children's books and often provides the Ransom family with literary treasures. The one I am currently reading is "The Hardy Boys: Footprints Under the Window." As a young lad, I read a substantial portion of the Hardy Boys series, but I can't say that I remember many of the details of these adventures. This masterpiece by Franklin W. Dixon is at least as good as the books about that Harry Potter kid (which, despite the cries from Qahal, is unfortunately the new standard by which we must judge). But what has amused me most about this nostalgic book, copyright 1933, is its political uncorrectness. A few quick examples:

In a moment before the mystery has begun, Frank and Joe Hardy need their shirts laundered:

"We'll take them down to Sam Lee," decided Joe. "He's the best Chinese laundryman in town . . ."

This innocent errand leads to a series of escalating run-ins with Chinamen (despite what Walter Sobchak says about the proper nomenclature, this is Dixon's word choice throughout) whose dialog is all similar to this:

"No good. Catchee much tlouble sometime. No Likee."

And then there is this little narration, when Frank and Joe have discovered a spy lurking nearby:

Was he friend or foe? Chinaman or white man?

But Dixon won't just infuriate the overly-sensative when it comes to nationalities; he provides fuel for the feminists, too. There is a point when one of the good Chinamen has to disguise himself as a woman to escape the Chinese gang that is hunting him down. According to the story, his disguise makes him look like an attractive woman, so it will pass a visual test, but the good detectives want the disguised man to convincingly play the part of the woman, so they offer him this advice:

"You'll get away with it as long as you don't talk too much. And you musn't forget to giggle every few minutes, for no reason at all, and powder your nose whenever you see a mirror."

I don't have anything else to add, but now that I know the Duebster is having a child I figured I would let him know about the quality literature he should invest in if it is a boy.